I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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