so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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