I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it because I queefed?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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