umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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