I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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