youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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