Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize