what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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