what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize