id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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