She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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