everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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