About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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