Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize