bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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