I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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