party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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