dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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