remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize