You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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