Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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