Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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