So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
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I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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