a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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