im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
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I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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