McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize