All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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