Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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