whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
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is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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