Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize