God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize