She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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