I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My balls are so social today.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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