Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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