I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Houston, we have a blender
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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