whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
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I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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