A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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