it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
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Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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