Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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