Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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