Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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