so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
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Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
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I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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