I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize