i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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