my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Randomize