she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize