You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm gonna fight the coyote
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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