you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
i out mim tonsoeep
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