Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize