just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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